6 Hints to Being a Good Guest
Etiquette is not just for the Emily Posts: we can all follow the proper way to handle every occasion.
By Katie Sauck
When most of us hear the word “etiquette,” we typically focus on the role of the host and all that it entails. But, it’s just as important to know how to be a good guest. Cynthia R. Grosso, founder of the Charleston School of Protocol and Etiquette, shares her expertise on the proper way to handle for almost every occasion.
RSVP Within Seven Days.
Whether the invitation comes as a formal card, a phone call, or an email, your first duty as a good guest is to RSVP promptly. “A timely response shows that you recognize that an event costs money and that the host needs to know how many people to expect,” Cindy explains. Etiquette recommends seven days to RSVP after receiving the invite. At the top of the “what not to do” list are failing to RSVP or to respond “yes” and then not show up for the event.
If the invitation does not specify recommended attire, be sure to ask what the dress code is. “Make sure you’re showing respect for people by wearing the appropriate clothing.”
Arrive on Time.
The trend today is to be on time for an event. Your host will probably be busy up to the last minute so arriving early is not a good idea. However, being a little late is okay. Fifteen minutes is considered fashionably late. If you’re attending an event where 100 or more people are invited, the acceptable late arrival time can extend to 20-30 minutes.
Bring a Gift.
Upon arriving to an event, it’s important to bring a hostess gift. “A bottle of wine is always a good choice because, even if the host doesn’t drink wine, she can offer it to guests.” A plant, a box of chocolates, or a house gift such as dish towels are some other ideas to express your appreciation.
If you choose to send flowers on the day of the event, make sure that they are pre-arranged. Loose flowers add to the hostess’s work by forcing her to cut and arrange them herself. “If you get to a party and didn’t bring a gift, don’t worry. Just send flowers as a thank you the next day.”
Speak with Everyone.
“Your host invited you because she knows you have something to contribute.” For that reason, do not monopolize the hostess’s time or find one person you know and stay with him/her all evening – try to converse with everyone. Guests help the hostess by mingling with other guests.
Keep it to Yourself.
If you don’t care for something served, try not to mention it. Remember that a lot of effort went into preparing the meal, whether you like it or not. Also, it’s poor etiquette to discuss your latest diet while at a social function. “It’s self-absorbed and all about you, people don’t really want to know.” If you’re really on a strict diet, Cindy says it may be better to not attend the event at all or to just enjoy the evening and eat. “Don’t dampen the event by talking about your diet.”
Stay a While.
How long should you stay? To not be considered eating and running, correct etiquette suggests that you stay at least one hour after the meal is finished. This allows ample time to speak with everyone in attendance and to enjoy the event.
“Knowing how to be a good guest is one of the most beneficial things,” Cindy says. Carrying out the proper protocol when invited to an event will allow you to attend confidently. No matter the occasion, these six guidelines will help you put your best foot forward.
About the Expert:
Cynthia R. Grosso is a corporate etiquette expert. She has been a speaker, teacher, and consultant in this arena for more than 15 years. She is the founder of the Charleston School of Protocol and Etiquette in Charleston, South Carolina. Prior to her current business, she owned a prominent international modeling and finishing school.
|
